Oh y’know. When you’ve been blown off by every commissioning editor in the land and hate every, pointless, unfunny, crappy, lame, idiotic thing you’ve ever produced and have only not hacksawed your own hands off because clearly you can’t do anything RIGHT.
‘Artistes’ love a bit of emo-drama which you would know of course, if you’ve ever watched a film about a composer/author/musician/thingy. There’s always a crisis point which ends up with aforementioned artist-type destroying reams of their work, smashing up a piano or setting fire to something they have built because either no-one’s interested, they got a bad review or they ran out of bread for toast this morning and it was the last straw. That last one has certainly had me repainting the kitchen in anger on more than one occasion.
Unfortunately for many artistes, nobody ever really gives their tantrums credence, because they know this person has skills and therefore toy-out-of-pram episodes are regularly dismissed as brazen attempts at attention and ego-patting. Indeed, I for one would tell JK Rowling to ‘sod off and count her millions’ if she ever tried to pull a snotty lip wobbler anywhere near me. Alas, many flancers do not have buckets of cash with which to soothe their artistically frustrated soul and so may I beg a tad more patience on their behalf? Especially if you are the partner/house mate of one of these sorry beings and are constantly awoken at 4am to receive a cold shower of unbridled self-pity. Simply give your flancer a hug, make them a cup of coffee and remind them that:
1. JK Rowling got turned down by ten publishers before she got her break.
2.That commissing editor A was an idiot. Editor B and C loved your work.
If this doesn’t work, try:
And if they still haven’t calmed down, it is likely they are playing the attention-seekers card. So go with:
4. If you do this again I am going to move out.
One of those should do the trick.